5 Ideas to help make changes stick

It's obviously been a while since I posted... Nearly a month, in fact.  And thinking about my next post made me think... Writing approximately one blog post every week was my goal.  This would require a change in my behavior that was manageable, and one to which I was dedicated.  I saw the value and the purpose.  While these are clearly prerequisites to any change, I still couldn't make it stick for even three full months! 

It's hard to make changes stick, even if you're committed to changing.  It's hard to make organizational changes stick, even if they go really well for the first few months.

So what?

Here are FIVE IDEAS for helping you stick to changes in your life.  I'll work on these too.  Note that these are really addressing personal change, but the principles can be applied to organizational change too.

1) Start small.  Recognize progress, not perfection, and build on your successes.

(In my case perhaps just once a month should have been my first goal).

2) Schedule the time.  Until a habit is stuck, it's hard to remember to make time for it.  Likely your schedule was full before you made the change.  So put time in your calendar, and stick to your new schedule.

(Everyone who's seen my Google calendar knows I schedule everything... But until today, not blog posts.)

3) Recognize the loss.  With any change, you're likely to give something up.  Time, money, comfort, sleep - whatever it is, it's hard to lose.  So take the time to mourn the loss - it's ok to be cranky about it for a while!

4) Get a cheerleader.  Even if it's not someone who's doing the change with you, having someone to remind you, celebrate successes, and help you get back on your feet will do wonders.  A cheerleader can help keep you motivated, structured, and hold you accountable.

5) Reflect & Celebrate! Take time at regular intervals (daily, weekly, whatever works for you) to ask yourself, "How am I doing?  If I didn't reach my goals, why?  What challenges was I able to overcome, and what do I see potentially coming up?"  And when you reach your goal, take time to celebrate it.

Why is it hard to do things we know we should do?

There are lots of things we should just "do".  Go to the gym.  Not eat late at night.  Stop swearing.  Whatever.  There are lots of things we know we should do, but it's hard.  Someone looking from the outside might not think it's hard.  But it is.  

Change is a strange creature.  Sometimes it's a blast - like moving into a new house.  Sometimes it super sucks - like getting up early to get your butt to the gym.  

But in all cases, change takes motivation, but it also requires courage & optimism.  Two things I usually have, but not today.  Some days in the change journey will be difficult.  Courage and optimism will wax and wane.  But I think it's helpful to identify the days we're weak in that courage and optimism.  You can still be dedicated and motivated toward your change, but that motivation doesn't mean you can do it.  

Think of it this way: to change, I MUST believe in these statements:

1) I believe I can change (courage).

2) I WANT this change (motivation).

3) I believe that this change will improve my life (optimism).

For me today, I'm super struggling with #1 and #3.  I know something needs to change, so I feel motivated to make the change-- #2 done.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  I believe the change is going to make my life worse for a while, but eventually better.  Today, the glass is not 1/2 empty or 1/2 full; there are 4 oz of water in the glass.  But to really get moving on this change, I need the true emotional commitment.  I think we all do - we need to be emotionally invested in that long-term future state, and look past the pains of the short-term struggle.

And even though I really want this change in my life, I'm not entirely sure I have the strength to do this.  As I said, it's going to be a mess for a while.  It's going to make my life harder first, and eventually easier.  

W. Bridges, Managing Transitions

William Bridges has a framework around transitions.  He says that you have to let go of what's going on now, and that can be really really challenging.  Then, once you finally let go, it takes a while (neutral zone) to re-establish patterns - to figure out how to do things again.  Then finally you set those patterns in the new beginning.

For another model of Bridge's framework, see: http://selfleadership.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/transition1.jpg

So here I am.  I can see that I have to let go, and I simply don't have the courage to do so.  I can't see past the immediate dangers to see the long-term benefits.

This happens all the time in organizations.  We can get people on board with the idea or business case for the change, but then we see them standing on the edge, and they just can't seem to make the leap.

How can we get them to jump?  How can we give them the courage and the optimism?

Just Jump In!